Last week, I had a conversation with someone who was having a hard time with her manager at work. We’ve all had challenges like that before, where we seem to constantly bang heads with other people, whether it’s your spouse, kids, manager, or even your clients.
This particular individual was banging heads with her manager. I told her she needed to have a conversation with the manager. You know, it’s always so interesting to me that when someone has a problem with someone else, the last person they want to talk to is the person they’re banging heads with.
So I asked her if she knew what she needed to say, and she thought for a minute, and she said, “I should probably go directly to her, smile, sit & talk.” I said, “Yes, that’s probably a really good idea. I know the heart of your manager is FOR you. She wants to see you succeed. I also know your manager is probably harder on herself than she is anybody else. There is a way to communicate with her in a way that will bring harmony. As you work through this difficult spot in working with her, there’s going to be a great relationship that comes out of it. Trust is not developed during easy times. Trust is developed through the hard stuff.”
Do you realize that is the truth, ?
I said to this individual, “Tell me why you trust me.” She said, “Because you’ve helped me through some really hard stuff. You loved me through the hard stuff, and you didn’t judge me for my mistakes, but you shared your mistakes.” I told her, “Exactly! That is why you trust me!”
It is not in the happy, easy times that we build trust. We develop trust with other people through bad situations and things we don’t want to confront. As long as we’re confronting issues from the right heart and with the right mind, that’s when good relationships are built.
An easy way to understand complicated people
People can be complicated and hard to understand. Whether it’s your spouse, colleagues, clients, or children, confusion and miscommunications happen from time to time. The good news is there is an easy way to eradicate those communication breakdowns and create harmony instead.
People have it so backwards today. They think a good relationship means you never have an argument or a disagreement. That couldn’t be further from the truth! The truth is, a good relationship is built when you work through those times. It is built when you make it through the earthquake together. When you stick together through hard times, that’s when you see character come out. You get to see somebody’s heart and their motives, and trust is built through that.
So don’t be like most people, who believe a good relationship is always good, and everything is always perfect and everyone is happy all the time. That is a bunch of nonsense! That is a Disneyland fantasy – NOT a reality. People have that exact same mindset about money – “I hope to get lucky someday. All the rich people just got lucky and got the good jobs and know all the right people.” You have fun with that belief system, but don’t be surprised when you end up broke at 65.
If you want good, solid relationships in your life, and you want to be able to trust other people and yourself, you’ve got to get the skills that help you confront issues in order to bring restoration.
A lot of people don’t know how to confront conflicts.
You can start with the content I sent you today. Choose not to throw in the towel and give up on the challenging relationships in your life, whether they are work-related or personal. Instead, take steps in the right direction to build trust and bring restoration to those relationships.
In fact, it would be very wise for you to share this message with a few people today. We all know people who are banging heads with someone else – you know, the ones who call you and say, “, I just don’t know what to do about So-and-So. They’re driving me crazy!” Just forward this email to them! Or you can even print it out and physically hand it to them. You may even want to post this link on Facebook and Twitter. (Come on, social media is always full of people complaining about other people. This is your chance to spread some GOOD news on Facebook for a change!)
I would also really love to know your thoughts about today’s Daily Thought. Have you ever experienced what I shared today? Have you pushed through challenging times in your relationships and built trust along the way? Are you going through that right now? I would love to know. You can leave your comments here.